Posted by: forgettingsally | May 17, 2011

Abuse is a Manifestation of Human Depravity in the Worst Forms but…

The word “abuse” is distasteful, the reason why many steer away from this topic. The word “abuse” conjures up negative human response to a level that makes its pronunciation within ear shot simply a word that is thought of as “most foul”. Immediately, our thoughts play up the most negative and they wouldn’t be pretty images we want to remember.

We think of “rape”, domination of the sexes in the most abusive way, emotional harm and mental torture etc. etc. Every thought generated will be clouded with negativity, sadness, anger and hate. And that’s normal. The word after all plays on the unhappy forms of human misconduct which society frowns upon. Created from just five English letters each otherwise subsisting on its own in a much fairer light, this malignant word called “abuse” has resulted in an unfortunate separation of its use in the regular tone of everyday language use as simply the word that should not be used. In fact, abuse is a topic that some may feel best discussed behind closed doors when people will not look at you “funny”, and misjudge you as being really “mentally disturbed” to even talk about as part of a normal conversational piece.

Indeed, abuse is not a nice word to use. To suggest someone has “abused” another or to even talk about “abuse” renders a varied number of responses from the larger crowd. Some may look at it apologetically, expressing concern over the victim who never made through the rosy path that the reader has. Some may express disgust, flavored from a background that simply denies the unfortunate evolution of misdeeds of the human kind. “Wake up and get on with your life”, they might say. And there are yet some who simply deny the pain of another as an area they have no relationship with. Theirs’ was governed by a much smoother course of events and stories of abuse are just not events they would even bother to know about. It makes them feel “uncomfortable” to remove themselves from their otherwise harmonic life and so they rather deny the existence of abuse and what it does for the unfortunate few who have not been so lucky. I have seen plenty of people who fit in these categories some time or the other including agents who think writing about abuse is a sheer waste of time.

But the topic of abuse is not to be swept under the carpet and the abused victim including the perpetrator should not be allowed to be left “untreated”. Abuse could lead to severe mental and emotional disorder that could eventually affect the victim through time and all others who function around that “victim”. It is a sign of abnormality that suggests the perpetrator usually a parent, sibling or close member that the family approves, has not conducted himself/herself well in a social environment where rules and expected forms of behavior is necessitated for the eventual sustenance and progress of a society. And the abuser may not generally be one person. It could even be a loosely bound group defined by ideas and misconceptions such as a cult group where domination by one master persists over the larger “weaker” population.

Think about a grain of rice. If you do not provide the nourishment and nurture that is necessary for that grain to grow, what you are left with are the rejects you do not need. These rejects are tossed away for eventual disposal because they are unpalatable for consumption and the ones that are salvaged are then sectioned into grades that eventually find their way on the dinner table. The same applies. It is frightening to even wonder what happens to an abused child who never talks about his/her problems and who eventually takes his/her place in a society as an adult where decision making and the ability to control one’s own destiny takes a much complicated route. Without acquiring the right mental attitude over time, an abused child could present a significant amount of problems to society leading to forms of behavior that the larger public will frown upon.

As such, abuse is not a game or form of play and we must always gear ourselves to understanding this area so that a life can be saved. My blog is intended to understand this area better and my book, “When Sally was 9…” is based on my own life. I have never taken anything for granted and I always ask myself the questions as to why this happened. I had a very intelligent father who taught me plenty but he also took a lot from me and I need to know why. It is so necessary to understand abuse so that we can pitch our efforts towards weeding the perpetrators and ensuring a child is given as much normalcy as possible. Everyone deserves a fair chance so it is important to help steer those who don’t, to veer into the right path.

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