Posted by: forgettingsally | June 1, 2011

Abusers Hurt and Destroy: Why Society Needs to be Involved

If someone steps up and declares that abuse is a problem that is only inherent in Western societies, that it is a sign of decadence and mayhem brought on by years of European civilization that taught nothing at all, I would drop everything and walk! And I mean it. I have been in a society that has spelt that to me a million times and I could not say much then. I was a child and I actually believed it to be true. You can call it indoctrination but it happens in many societies and failure to conform can lead you to being stigmatized by society.
However, my perceptions of societal and cultural issues and the socialization processes which dictate a society changed when I became an adult, when I developed my own set of values to question and receive, and when I began to see the world for what it really is.
So, here’s the thing.
Saying that abuse is not happening in Asia is like me telling you that you will find a unicorn in the forest if you look hard enough. You cannot convince me that abuse is only prevalent in Western society. It happens everywhere, at all levels, and it is a problem for many to deal with. I have seen enough of it and feel we need to develop responses to counter and contain its perpetuation into our society. The least we need is nurturing a society that presents an unhealthy ground for our children and theirs’.
And to say abuse is a “normal” expected behavior of any society would mean I am condoning that it is an acceptable result of human integration into a larger form. Then I would ask you why is someone NDP and another is not? We are all born differently but it is the family unit and the social beliefs and expectations which we come into contact with, which eventually shape us to where we are.
So, here’s the basic point:
Abuse does exist irregardless of what society we come from and it eventually degenerates if no treatment is rendered. We should never ignore the pernicious forms it can take because it destroys the abuser and everyone who he/she comes into contact with on a regular basis. The manner in which abuse degenerates is determined best by a yard stick and through statistical analyses based on many factors considered eg. Cultural and social perspectives, tolerance level and sociological/educational pressures. But to zero in on the ultimate fix would be hard to do because these studies will be all human generated and biasness will prevail. Hence, results will always be skewed. Nothing is always fact driven.
The point is we allow abuse to live in our society and if we shut an eye to its existence, we are in effect allowing its generation into the fibers of our society. Over time, closing an eye to abuse means we are allowing bad behavioral tendencies to foster. Say for instance, we know there is an Uncle Sam next door who seems to beat his son even though the boy has expressed his misdoing. It happens all the time and you think that it is okay to allow that to happen day and night but here’s the issue. Allowing that sort of activity only affects the child’s eventual mental and social aptitude. You are not doing that child a favor. He eventually digresses to believe that it is okay to hit someone and that when he has a son who does not “do the right thing”, he should hit till he elicits the expected behavioral response. So, his problem surfaces in school, in the school bus he takes and as an adult, he eventually seeks to achieve his goals through violence and aggression. That’s what I mean by allowing its perpetuation to eventually seed through society. It acts almost like a multiplier effect.
On a collective perspective, society suffers because when people like Uncle Sam’s son get into society as adults, they destroy the progression of that society that values healthy mental perceptions and attitude. Eventually, people like these grow in numbers and place a damper on what constitutes normalcy and what doesn’t. Imagine what that can eventually do the way people perceive things? If someone cries for help because they are in trouble and you know they do because your eyes and ears tell you so, what do you do? Do you walk and forget it happened or do you do the right thing and offer help? Makes you wonder but if the value structure and demands of a society changes with too many abusive people around, the expectations also changes towards a negation of the better goals and objectives which should have otherwise been the norm.
That would be scary, wouldn’t it?

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